True Colors

Welcome to me.
A ball full of good intentions and millions of unfinished projects.

I struggle with continuity. I struggle with discipline. I struggle with sticking with it.

I get bored easily. I get distracted easily. I get sidetracked every five minutes.

This blog is already a wonderful example. It started with a slew of entries and then nothing. For two months. Yup, sure sounds like me.

But I'm back at it. Currently inspired by the Christmas music playing on my computer. I know. It's not even Thanksgiving. I normally have a rule- no Christmas talk before Thanksgiving. Similar to my - no Thanksgiving talk before Halloween. I get frustrated with how quickly department stores push through holidays. Using family traditions to market and make money. But I'm succumbing to the guilty pleasure of Christmas music and just calling it holiday music. Because I CAN.

See, throughout my childhood, I dreaded holidays. Dreaded, despised, hated, loathed. Whichever word works to get the point across. It was inevitable that there was fighting, there was anger, and there was always some crying. Actually, more like a lot of crying. I am a child of divorce. I'm a child of a dysfunctional family (although these days, who isn't?!) Holidays were simply a reminder that my life was complicated, messy. My immediate family was chaotic and often treated me much as much older than the little girl I was. I am thankful for the way it made me grow up so quickly. Thankful for the way it taught me how to read emotions. Thankful for the ways it showed me how to pacify people. My communication skills most definitely got their start from spending time with my family. And for that, I am eternally grateful.

The holidays, however, remained a dreaded tradition. Until I moved away and began living my own life. And three years ago, right around this time, I declared that I was taking my holidays back. I was reclaiming these precious celebrations. I was tired of running from my past. It was time to define my future.

And that's exactly what I've been doing since then. Taking back my holidays. I've spent 4th of July alone, hosted an Orphan Thanksgiving, grabbed drinks with friends on Christmas Eve, and ate Lucky Charms for my Easter lunch. I've also started my own traditions- Macy's 8th floor, Adventure behind Minnehaha Falls, baking my own assortment of Christmas cookies, and many more.

I'm looking forward to sharing more holiday agenda items as they happen. I am so blessed and will be spending Thanksgiving in New York this year. I am eagerly (with a bit of nervousness) anticipating meeting my boyfriend's mother. The trip should be filled with plenty of new lessons and learning moments. I really am counting down the days!